The effects of addiction stretch far beyond the individual, with the families of active substance abusers and people in recovery often needing extra support navigating the festive period. In addition to planning for the holidays, these families also have the added stress of dealing with their loved one’s substance use disorder. There is also anxiety of possibly mishandling the situation, resulting in estrangement from the individual or a relapse for the person in recovery.
Don’t suppress your feelings
It’s completely understandable that this period will be especially difficult for all involved. Feeling sad, angry, scared, or embarrassed is a normal response to this kind of situation. It’s always best to express these feelings to someone you can trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist. Keeping these emotions bottled up isn’t healthy and could lead to an outburst later on.
Start a conversation
Many people avoid bringing up the issue of addiction around the festive period because they want to keep the peace. However, lying to cover up the true impact of your loved one’s addiction will only lead to resentment. Instead, you may want to consider sitting them down for a chat. Without judgment, let them know how their addiction has impacted you, be honest about your concerns, and ask what you can do to support them during Christmas.
Don’t enable their habit
Drug and alcohol use is at an all-time high around Christmas and New Year. If you’re living with someone in active addiction, it’s important you don’t enable their habit during this time. Avoid gifting money for Christmas, no matter how much they try to convince you. Stand your ground and set boundaries.
Protect yourself and others
While your instinct may be to leave this person out of the Christmas family plans, it may end up doing more harm than good. While you have every right to want to protect yourself and others, excluding someone isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly. It could lead to resentment and heavier drug or alcohol use as a result. Instead, be sure to set firm boundaries with the person, making it clear that certain behaviours won’t be tolerated and that your priority is the safety of everyone in attendance. Similarly, if you have a family member in early recovery, be sure to include them in the festivities, unless they make it clear to you that they don’t wish to be involved. While it’s natural to be concerned on their behalf, it’s best to let them make their own decision.
Remove temptation and triggers
If you have a friend or family member who is in active addiction or recovering from alcohol or drug addiction, the best way to support them is by minimising any potential triggers. Make sure the fridge is stocked up with plenty of soft drinks and alcohol alternatives can make all the difference to a person in recovery. Keep the conversation and atmosphere light and avoid anything that might create a stressful environment. A person in active addiction doesn’t need an excuse to use. By removing temptation, you can give them the freedom to relax and feel safe during your Christmas party.
Remember: you can’t force someone in active addiction to get help, but there are things you can do that will make the festive season more manageable for them as well as yourself. If you find yourself unable to cope with the stress of addiction in the family, please remember you’re not alone. You can call Step by Step Recovery on 0800 170 1222 and speak with one of our team for advice on the next steps.
