21 Signs You’re Living with an Alcoholic

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You may have noticed that the behaviour of your partner, parents, children or other dependents who live with you has changed. If you have also seen that they are drinking alcohol regularly or to excess, this could signify that you are living with an alcoholic.

Although it can be very difficult to understand, there are 21 common warning signs for alcohol use disorder that you should be aware of. If you are concerned about someone’s drinking, understanding the early signs and symptoms of alcohol abuse, dependency, and addiction may help you if you decide to talk to them.

Alcohol Addiction vs Dependence 

Alcoholism, alcohol abuse, dependency or alcohol addiction are also referred to as alcohol use disorder or AUD. Although they are all categorised under alcohol use disorder, there is often a distinction between alcohol abuse, dependency and addiction. Below is a brief explanation of how each term is used in general.

  • Alcohol abuse is usually considered an early sign of potential alcohol addiction. Although alcohol abuse may be frequent or infrequent drinking, it is often thought of as binge drinking or getting drunk. This is a common misconception, and a sign of alcohol abuse can also be daily or regular drinking, even if this appears to be in moderation. Alcohol abuse refers to the overuse of alcohol.
  • Alcohol dependence is thought of as different to abuse. Whereas abuse is considered the overuse of alcohol, dependency is when alcohol starts to play a central role in someone’s life. Signs of alcohol dependency can be when someone starts to withdraw from activities they previously enjoyed or ask other people to take on daily responsibilities they would usually do, such as collecting children from school.
  • Alcohol addiction refers to both regular alcohol use and an inability to stop drinking even when it is causing problems in daily life. Common signs include relationship and family issues, missing work or drinking alcohol during the day or when it is inappropriate, such as when looking after children or walking in a public place, such as a park.

The Difference between Physical and Psychological Dependence

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It is important to understand the difference between physical and psychological dependence to recognise the signs and symptoms of alcohol use disorder. Physical dependence is usually referred to as addiction and changes the brain and body function. A person experiencing withdrawal symptoms when not consuming alcohol has a physical dependence. 

Psychological dependence refers to when someone has a strong desire to consume alcohol and may withdraw from activities to drink. This could be not participating in sports or other activities where alcohol will not be available.

Physical and psychological dependence makes it more difficult for someone to control when and how much alcohol they consume. However, someone with psychological dependence will not experience physical withdrawal symptoms. Symptoms of psychological dependence may include unexpected changes in mood and signs of anxiety and depression. 

21 Signs and Symptoms of Alcoholism

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It can be hard to know how to live with an alcoholic. Watching out for the signs and symptoms of alcohol use disorder can be challenging. When someone knows that their alcohol consumption could be considered unhealthy or excessive, they will usually try to hide any indication that they might be abusing alcohol. Alcoholics will often drink alone in the evening and then get rid of their empty bottles or cans. Behavioural changes can be easier to spot than physical dependence. You may also notice some behavioural changes, combined with mild withdrawal symptoms, which can be a forewarning of alcohol dependency and addiction. 

If you are concerned that you might be living with an alcoholic, here are 21 common behavioural signs and physical symptoms of alcohol use disorder:

  1. Going to bed later than usual and smelling of alcohol or intoxicated
  2. Always wanting to drink alcohol and making up reasons why they should have a drink.
  3. Denying drinking or the amount of alcohol consumed when there are physical symptoms of excessive drinking 
  4. Drinking a lot of alcohol and not displaying the usual physical symptoms of intoxication
  5. Drinking alone, more often than usual or during the day
  6. Lack of personal hygiene, such as greasy hair or body odour
  7. Borrowing money
  8. Saying they are ill to cover up signs of a hangover 
  9. Going out to only buy alcohol
  10. Not taking part in activities and avoiding usual daily responsibilities
  11. Missing work and taking sick leave 
  12. Finding empty bottles or cans of alcohol hidden in the house

Physical symptoms of alcohol abuse and alcoholism include:

  1. Headaches and dizziness
  2. Nausea and vomiting
  3. Sweating excessively 
  4. Hand tremors (involuntary shaking) 
  5. Aggression and being easily irritated
  6. Low mood, anxiety and depression
  7. Having no memory of what they did when they were drinking, or vague memories of social events they attended
  8. Fatigue and slow reflexes or responses
  9. Insomnia or difficulty getting to sleep.

Helping Someone with Alcohol Addiction

When you live with an alcoholic, the first thing you can do to help is to speak with them about their alcohol use. They may deny that they have an issue, accuse you of being overbearing, controlling or paranoid or become angry. This is why it is a good idea to have a support system in place. If you don’t feel you can speak with family or friends, there are various charities and support groups that you can contact for advice. The mental health charity, Mind, has a list of organisations that help with addiction. You might find these useful if you need support for yourself or someone you care about. If you want to seek help from the NHS, you can locate alcohol addiction support services on the NHS website across the UK.

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The next steps when dealing with alcohol dependence

Alcohol abuse is a serious issue that can have devastating effects on both the individual struggling with alcohol addiction and their loved ones. If you suspect that someone in your life is living with an alcoholic, it’s important to seek help as soon as possible. One of the first steps in treating alcohol abuse is through an alcohol detox.

Alcohol detox is the process of removing alcohol from the body and managing withdrawal symptoms. This process should be overseen by medical professionals to ensure the safety and well-being of the individual going through detox. Alcohol detox can be done in a variety of settings, including inpatient facilities, outpatient clinics, or even at home with proper medical supervision.
During alcohol detox, individuals may experience withdrawal symptoms such as tremors, sweating, nausea, anxiety, and even seizures in severe cases.

Once the individual has completed the alcohol detox process, they may then move on to other forms of treatment such as therapy and counselling. Therapy can help address underlying issues that may have contributed to the development of alcohol addiction, while counselling can provide support and guidance throughout the recovery process.

Individuals struggling with alcohol abuse may also benefit from medications that can help reduce cravings and prevent relapse. Medications such as naltrexone, acamprosate, and disulfiram can be prescribed by healthcare professionals to aid in the recovery process.

It’s important to remember that recovery from alcohol addiction is a lifelong journey and may require ongoing support and treatment. Encouraging your loved one to seek help and providing them with the resources they need can make a significant impact on their recovery journey.

Remember, you are not alone in this process and there are many resources available to help both you and your loved one through this difficult time. If you suspect that someone in your life is struggling with alcohol abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. With the right support and treatment, it is possible to overcome alcohol addiction and live a healthy, fulfilling life.

Contact Step By Step today

We offer free advice on supporting and treating addiction. Step by Step Recovery exists to help individuals beat drug addiction permanently, providing support to the people we treat and their friends and family. Please complete our online assessment form or call our understanding team on 0800 170 1222 for free, confidential advice to help you or a loved one.

FAQs


Living with an alcoholic spouse, alcoholic parents or someone who struggles with alcohol in general can be challenging. It’s important to approach the situation with compassion, understanding, and support. Here are some tips on how to help someone you live with consider quitting alcohol:

1. Have an open and honest conversation: Approach the person in a non-confrontational manner and express your concerns about their drinking habits. Let them know that you care about their well-being and want to support them in making positive changes.

2. Offer your support: Let the person know that you are there for them and willing to help in any way you can. This may include attending counselling sessions with them, helping them find resources for treatment, or simply providing a listening ear when they need to talk.

3. Encourage professional help: Suggest that the person seek professional help from a therapist, counsellor, or addiction specialist. They may benefit from a structured treatment program or support group tailored to their specific needs.

4. Set boundaries: It’s important to set boundaries and communicate your needs in the relationship. Let the person know how their drinking is affecting you and establish clear expectations for behaviour while living together.

5. Take care of yourself: Living with someone who struggles with alcohol can be emotionally draining, so it’s important to prioritise self-care. Make sure you are taking care of your own mental and physical health especially if you struggle with mental health issues or are in a potentially dangerous situation for example an emotional violence or domestic violence situation. It’s important to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist.

6. Educate yourself: Learn more about addiction and alcoholism to better understand what your loved one is going through. This can help you approach the situation with empathy and compassion.

7. Avoid enabling behaviour: It can be tempting to cover up for the person or make excuses for their behaviour, but this only enables their drinking. Encourage them to take responsibility for their actions and seek help.

8. Offer alternatives: If alcohol is a coping mechanism for stress or other issues, suggest healthier alternatives such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies that can help distract from the urge to drink.

Remember, ultimately it is up to the individual to decide to quit drinking. Your role is to offer support, encouragement, and guidance along the way. By approaching the situation with empathy and understanding, you can help create a safe and supportive environment for your loved one to consider making positive changes in their life.

If you or someone you know is struggling with alcoholism, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. There are many resources available, including hotlines, support groups, and treatment programs that can assist. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there is always hope for recovery. By taking proactive steps and offering your support, you can help your loved one on their path towards healing and sobriety.


An alcohol intervention may be an effective approach to getting an alcoholic into treatment, whether for family, alcoholic partner or professional reasons. It is important to prioritise self-care when dealing with an alcoholic and to avoid taking the blame for their behaviour, even if they attempt to deflect responsibility onto you.

An alcoholic is someone who suffers from alcoholism, which is a chronic and progressive disease that affects a person’s ability to control their drinking habits. Alcoholism is characterised by a strong craving for alcohol, the inability to limit one’s intake, and physical alcohol dependence to function normally and greatly affects their quality of life.

Living with an alcoholic whether that’s an alcoholic partner or otherwise can be challenging and can have a significant impact on both the individual struggling with alcoholism and their loved ones.

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